This is an excerpt from one of the chapters of the book I have written: "Follow your light, living your destiny" which hopefully I will decide one day soon to publish.
Life is no brief candle to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got
a hold of for a moment, and I want to make it burn
as brightly as possible, before handing it on
to future generations.
George Bernard Shaw
A healthy person usually takes his or her sense of balance for granted.
When you are healthy, you don't even think about how difficult is for some people to walk on the beach, or from the sidewalk on to the grass, or to do any kind of work. Or, if you get out of bed in the middle of the night, how difficult is to get around your house in the dark without stumbling or losing your balance.
My thirst for knowledge led me to search the net and lots of medical books in order to understand and learn the problem I am dealing with.
I have learnt that our ability to maintain our balance depends on information that our brain receives from three different sources -- our eyes, the muscles and joints of our body, and our inner ears. All three of these sources send information in the form of nerve impulses from sensory receptors, special nerve endings, to our brain. This is the sensory input that has to do with balance.
There are times that the sensory input that we receive from one of the sources conflicts with the input from the other sources. The motor impulses that are sent from our brain to the other muscles of our body control their movement so we can maintain our balance whether we are sitting, standing, or turning.
Since I have been in my twenties, I met many people who had different health problems and many of them became my friends. I was often asking myself what was the reason to meet these people and become friends and remain friends for so many years?
Today I know, and I am so grateful to God for sending all these people on my path, because through them and from them I have learnt to be patient, to be strong and to know that there is always a tomorrow.
All these years God have sent these people to prepare me for what was to come and to teach me a simple truth!
I have learned that the simple truth it's about living beyond your symptoms. Identifying high values and purpose and creating environments and relationships that build upon them so that you are finding ways to enjoy a meaningful quality of life regardless of physical condition or malady. Because quality of life is what really matters. And moving focus from illness and onto improving quality of life is a huge leap for many people with chronic conditions.
The thing with chronic dis-ease is that either you let it eat you up, or you learn to deal with it. I choose to deal with it. However, the thing is to deal with it and not sit around having a one-person pity party. It's just not worth the effort, because there's no positive outcome. So I meditate, and train my body to not acknowledge each and every little ache, sharp twinge, brain fatigue or dizziness. Sometimes I do it too well and don't notice any of the symptoms, but there are times when I simply cannot do it.
Dizziness is not an easy thing; I do not know how it does manifest in others; I feel it all the time in standing and sitting position and it is very difficult for me to work, walk and do so many other things, as I try so hard to keep my balance. My brain feels tired as well and I need to lie down quite often as this is the only position in which I do not feel this non stop dizziness.
I think in many cases, mainstream medicine doesn't know what to do, and recommending a psychiatrist is an easy way out. I have been there too! As the doctors I have checked with couldn't find any physical problem, I was told that everything is in my mind. I didn't believe it, but I said: "why not try it ?" Lately, all over the world, doctors are recommending anti-depressants for everything and this is what I got as an answer: "you are going through a depressionï" and I was given some pills.
I took them for about two years and not seeing the slightest improvement, I decided to stop taking them.
Ancient approaches to understanding disease and body healing often viewed illness from the perspective of the human spirit, or the body�s life-force energy. Yet modern medicine tries to distance itself from ideas of spirit and life energy.
This new realization led me on the path to read all kind of ~ spiritual healing books~.
I found very interesting some of the authors like: Barbara Ann Brennan, Caroline Miss, Doreen Virtue, Louise Hay, Harry Edwards and so many others.
The second step was to apply what I have read in these books. So I consider that it was not a waste of time because I have learned so many things.
From reading to learning and then applying these methods to one's daily life is a huge step. It is in fact the most difficult of all because the sufferer would like to see quick results. Well, it is not at all that way!
Although I cannot say that the methods has improved my health, but it has certainly improved my quality of life. I wish it could have been vice versa, but on the other hand we cannot have everything we want to.
Then I was asking myself: "why millions of people all over the world have to suffer in mind and body?" I still don’t have the answer. Some of the dis-eases are due to much stress, but not all of them have same root.
To tell you the truth, in the beginning the vertigo made my life miserable.
The Quakers have a saying, "What does the voice within thee tell thee"?
Today, after seven long years, I try to listen to what my body is telling me and as I feel able I do a little more. Because I am determined not to be beaten by this condition, I cannot measure my progress over days or weeks but as I look back over the last few years, I see I have improved.
After all, life is not always easy and in case we don't know how to cope with the problems we should better learn. If we just sit and feel sorry for ourselves, we won't progress and we actually don't live but just exist and we are like spectators watching our life go by and all the anger bottles up inside us and without even realizing we make our own life miserable.
What I am actually talking about is the process of learning to live beyond your symptoms. Identifying high values and purpose and creating environments and relationships that build upon them so that you are finding ways to enjoy a meaningful quality of life regardless of physical condition or malady. Because quality of life is what really matters. And moving focus from illness and onto improving quality of life is a huge leap for many people with chronic conditions.
I am very grateful for gaining an understanding of who I truly am, and I know that I can deal with whatever life throws at me.
Since I have been ill, I have been amazed to learn how many others have been similarly afflicted and have recovered in time or are still working through it. I see the children when they are learning to walk unsteady on their feet unsure of their balance and I realize that I am learning to walk all over again. Whatever has gone wrong in my head, in time my brain will learn to read the right signals and ignore the wrong ones.
There are many in the world worse off than I am. This life is meant to be a test and the trials that come upon us are learning opportunities, they are to give us experience and will be for our own good.
Vertigo/dizziness is still part of my journey through life and, although it is and has been very difficult, I know that whatever I have to deal with on a particular day, whether it be severe dizziness, nausea, non-stop tears during a low "depression" day or one of the other numerous symptoms, I will always find my way back to me because of what I know.
This illness has given me the chance to review where I am today and decide which corner I turn tomorrow. So, I am trying to enjoy every day, never knowing what events will occur after I open my eyes each morning.
My health problem led to a major shift within me, which made me see things in a new light. The shift was moving from the external to internal realm in several areas. The big shift was realizing the keys are within me--not outside. I have the ability to generate my own energy. Thank heavens I have guardian angels and the ability to pull myself through.
Marinela Kotsina
I try to live my life with kindness, compassion, and love. For many years now, every day I pray: Please God let me live this day in such a way that I won't be ashamed of myself, if I pass over before the day is over. And my rule is to live every day as if it is my last, so that when I am called back home, I can honestly say: "God, thank you for all the blessings and gifts you gave me. I also hope you approve of what I have done with them". That to me is prayer.
In order to do that I surely don't have to dress up every Sunday ~~ or any other day ~~ to go to a building called church, where God resides to have my sins forgiven so I can commit them all over again the next week. I personally don't have to be on my knees praying all day to prove I am a good person. And I don't have to do it in church with my hands piously clasped together because god is everywhere. What really counts is what I feel in my heart and what I believe.
I can sit with God, the Universal spirit, etc, in the church created by God: the woods, the park, with the animals, with other beings, or by myself with just my meditation and love of the earth and feel more fulfilled and spiritually guided. I believe God lives within me. I am divine simply by my creation as a divine being within. That is not to say I believe myself to be God, but I believe I walk in light, in love and I feel and believe in the love of all creatures that walk this earth and guide us daily. In God I do trust. Amen.
Too often, I see people settle for a facade, believing that if they just surround themselves with lots of 'nothing', they are living in peace when in truth what they experience is apathy. Then, when everything falls down around them they are defeated and depressed (more nothing feelings) and don't understand why. I believe peace and light are active vibrations that require mental and physical activity on our part.
We always eat the fruit of our thoughts, words, and actions. Plant the seeds of the fruit we want to eat, and make sure that fruit gives us energy and nourishment.
Eat a healthy diet, not one of junk food. We are one, coming from the same creator.
What we think and do towards another, we also do to ourselves.
We attract people, places, experiences, things according to the energy frequency in which we live. Higher frequency does not necessarily mean financial affluence.
The higher vibration has more of the good stuff: Love, peace, balance, harmony, prosperity, health, and much more.
Stay in the light. The moment any negative thought enters your mind, pray to see the light. As soon as you let it, the light will illumine your way.
Copyright by Marinela Kotsina 2007
I would like to share with you one of my articles published in Gather.
For my many dear friends - Cancer's survivors
Karma is a Sanskrit word witch means work and action. It is an on-going process. Something is set in motion and has repercussions. This can occur on many levels and in ways that are subtle or gross, immediate or long term. Karma arises not only out of action but out of thoughts, attitudes and desires. It is the sum total of all that the soul has experienced in its cycle of incarnations.
Karma is not revengeful. It would be self-annihilating if revenge or retribution were its motives. It can only be re-creative and constructive. The progressive evolution and advancement of the Personality is its sole purpose.
It demands not “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” as does the law which man invented as his imitation of the Law of Compensation. It demands only justice-justice to all, the sinner and the one sinned against, the benefactor and the one benefited. It has the power to carry out its principles. It leaves nothing to the judgement of man, for he had his choice and decided; it retains the sole responsibility of its operation, for man agreed to this when he decided.
It selects for its propitious time to exact compensation or bestow blessings that moment in the period of the Soul’s residence within the physical body when the personality will profit most by the lesson to be learned, the experience to be realized, or the reward to be utilized to the betterment of all concerned.
It selects for its place of manifestation that localization of events which is most favourable for an impressive demonstration to all who may discern and profit thereby.
Into the physical body comes the Soul with its Personality, its perfect memory of all past experiences and its acquired penalties and rewards earned through the Law of Compensation.
It is still free to choose, free to decide, free to submit or rebuke the urges which come from its memory of past experiences or the whisperings of the world without. But it has debits and credits to its record from the past and these it cannot avoid.
Whatever it may decide to do, it must contend with the Law of Compensation in attempting to carry out it decisions. The dept to be paid will be demanded by the Law of Karma at the moment which is most propitious.
Thus the principles of salvation by grace, and redemption by atonement, have their real origin in the JUST working of a great Law.
I have discovered in reincarnation and Karma the only rational and acceptable explanation and cause for the seeming injustice of the inequalities of life.
Yes, I believe in God, and I believe God is love, and I couldn’t have believed in a God that punishes his own “children”.
Some are born in wealth, some in abject poverty; some are born with every advantage for education and advancement, some with no opportunity at all. One is born crippled, handicapped, physically and mentally; another is born ideally. Knowing this I have finally understood that:
I am tomorrow, or some future day, what I establish today. I may be enjoying good health in this incarnation without appreciating the fact that I earned it, deserved it, by some acts or attitude of mine in the past.
And I may show so little appreciation for this blessing of health, that some day I shall suffer poor health- either in this incarnation or another.
I may loose health to make money, and after loose money to restore my health!
I must learn to forgive, by practicing forgiveness!
I must not be anxious about the future leave in the past and forget the present!
I must not contradict others: two people can look at the same thing, but see it differently!
I must not criticize others, as one day, I may find myself in the same situation!
I must not take anything for granted, but feel thankful for being able to walk, eat, sleep, hear, have children and good friends etc.!
A RICH PERSON IS NOT ONE WHO HAS THE MOST, BUT IS ONE WHO NEEDS THE LEAST!
